How to Deal with Bitterness

When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him!” So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, “Your father charged before he died, saying, ‘Thus you shall say to Joseph, “Please forgive, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong.”’ And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

Then his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.” But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. Genesis 50:15-21

The first step in removing a bitter spirit is to recognize God’s sovereignty over every aspect of our lives. That means - no matter who hurt you or what trauma you or a loved one have gone through - the Lord Jesus Christ allowed it to happen so that you could experience His grace and sufficiency.

This phase is probably the most difficult of our healing process. From our perspective, it seems God is not in control, that He does not care, that He could stop the pain. In reality God is in full control, allowing disturbing events or people to come our way.

In the nineteenth century Hannah Whitall Smith in The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life wrote: “It may be the sin of many that originates the action, and therefore the thing itself cannot be said to be the will of God; but by the time it reaches us, it has become God’s will for us and must be accepted as directly from His hands. No man or company of men, no power in earth or heaven, can touch that soul which is abiding in Christ, without first passing through His encircling presence and receiving the seal of His permission....Nothing can disturb or harm us, except He shall see that it is best for us and shall stand aside to let it pass.”

“...But He does according to His will...” Daniel 4:35